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African American Couple

Counseling Provided

"The heart and soul of good therapy is all about developing a trusting relationship".

This relationship then benefits you in tangible and transforming ways as you pursue health and personal development. You have exercised courage to do possibly one of the scariest things you have ever done or, maybe you are already familiar with this process. Whatever the case, I applaud your initiative to get to a better place.  

Our services are listed below for Marital, Comprehensive Sex and Porn Addiction and Trauma Recovery, Christian Sex Therapy and Spiritual Formation, Direction, and Healing.

 

MARITAL THERAPY

  1. Relationship Enhancement: This is a short term therapy for those couples who enjoy a relatively good relationship but want to establish a closer bond.
     
  2. Total Intimacy Building: This is a relative short term therapy that focuses on establishing and building a deeper level of couple intimacy including emotional, sensual, and sexual intimacy.
     
  3. Relationship/Attachment Bond Repair: Often, couples get stuck in a negative interaction cycle of impaired attempts at connection. Frustration, ongoing conflict, distancing, and drifting away begin to seep into the relationship. This intermediate term therapy helps create an environment and process for the couple to create a lasting and satisfying way of connecting on a more intimate level.
     
  4. Affair Recovery: When one member of the relationship steps outside of the relationship to connect with someone else it both creates a serious breach of trust and reveals a serious flaw in the relationship. Our approach is to create a safe and nonjudgmental atmosphere to both explore what happened to the relationship and to stop the bleeding. Then, when the couple has stabilized, we begin attachment repair to rebuild a stronger lasting bond. There are typically 2 phases to this therapy process. The first is more structured and task completion oriented follow by an Emotionally Focused Therapy like format working toward establishing and strengthening the core relationship bond.
     
  5. Discernment Counseling: When the couple is ambivalent about the relationship - This is  very short term (3-4 sessions) counseling that allows the couple a safe atmosphere to process the pros and cons of whether to remain in the relationship or not. Then, out ot the result can proceed more specific counseling relevant to the couple’s goals for the relationship.
     
  6. Couples Group for Building/Regaining/Enhancing Intimacy: This is a 10 week group for couples seeking to grow deeper in levels of emotional, relational, and sensual/sexual connection. It utilizes the transforming power of secure attachment with adults and the powerful dynamics of group process. It is limited to no more than 5 couples
     
  7. Premarital Counseling: The premarital counseling offered here is done so on the premise of helping the couple establish a relationship that will be mutually satisfying and will last the test of time. In conjunction with the assessment above, premarital counseling sessions that prepare the couple for a lifelong successful relationship. Options are available for four 3 hour sessions or eight 2 hour sessions.
  8. Premarital Assessment: We provide two options for assessing a couple’s readiness for the joy and challenges of merging two lives, two family of origin backgrounds, two expectations into one in marriage. Both of these assessments have solid scientific validity as well as relational relevance. They are also conducted in the context of a personally engaging interview process with the therapist.

  9. Prepare/Enrich: This is a premarital assessment that has stood the test of time in its effectiveness to prepare a couple to go into a lifelong relationship with eyes wide open. It is based on national norms of over 500,000 couples. It assesses ten core areas for creating a successful relationship, such as, communication, conflict resolution, money management, sexuality and affection, family, spirituality, roles, leisure, and others.
     
  10. Symbis: Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, created by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, is a recently developed premarital assessment that has been used by millions of individuals pursuing marriage. Research shows that certain pre-marriage variables can reveal which couples will do well and which poorly with 94% accuracy. These variables have been integrated into this assessment with ways to address them.

 

COMPREHENSIVE SEX AND PORN ADDICTION AND TRAUMA RECOVERY FOR SPOUSE AND PARTNER

Any addiction involves complex issues and is not merely a matter of will to change a behavior. In order to experience freedom and lasting changes, a comprehensive approach is necessary that not only addresses behavior change and creating a new mindset, but also seeks to address core attachment needs which have not been successfully addressed since childhood. Sex/porn addiction is unique in that all the ingredients one needs to fuel it are in your own brain. Our treatment protocol addresses the behavior, the thinking associated with maintaining it, the unmet underlying  attachment needs, and spiritual healing.

  1. Individual Treatment: 
    • Addict: The addict begins individual treatment in the context of a nonjudgmental and accepting atmosphere with his/her therapist. The primary goals are first to establish and maintain consistent sobriety. The next is to create a robust recovery lifestyle. The third and longer term is to do the critical work of attachment repair- creating positive strategies for connecting with significant others. These together will create the greatest likelihood of long term successful recovery.
       
    • Partner: The spouse/partner has experienced her/his on private corner of hell in a tornado of betrayal, relational trauma, and a rollercoaster of emotions. Goals in working with partners are to first create an atmosphere of safety and trust with the therapist in order to be able to reclaim a sense of control of one’s life. Another significant goal is to be able to establish healthy boundaries and a strong safe support system. A third very important goal is to work toward attachment repair in creating positive strategies for connecting well with close others.
       
    2. Groups -Our groups are a reflection of our overall philosophy of therapy practice. No one heals in isolation, but rather most complete, most comprehensive, most lasting healing and transformation occur in the context of an accepting, supportive, truthful community. This is true regardless of whether we are addressing men’s issues, women’s issues, couple’s issues, addictive behavior, betrayal and trauma, the development of healthy sexuality, or the healing of spiritual wounds. Each group integrates recovery principles, attachment bond repair, and spiritual formation.
    1. Partner: This group is also faith friendly, compassionate, empathetic, emotionally attuned to the client’s emotional rollercoaster, and is robustly grounding. It also follows the Carne’s trauma based recovery for partners and integrates attachment repair and healthy affect regulation. Once stability is attained clients develop healthy boundaries in all areas: non-negotiable boundaries for the relationship, physical, emotional, relational, sexual, and spiritual boundaries. Group consists of experiential exercises, check- ins, and psycho education, as well as group processing. 
       
    2. Addict: There are two tracts for men’s groups. The first is a faith friendly group that integrates the task model of sex addiction recovery with attachment repair and spiritual formation. The second tract includes all of the above but is specifically integrated from a Judeo-Christian framework that is biblically sound and theologically conservative
       
    3. Couples Recovery
      1. Couple- Once couples have begun individual therapy, there is an early periodic “couple’s check in conducted as conjoint therapy (where the addict, spouse, and each couple’s therapist all work together in session to assess where they are in relationship with self and one another. Periodically, throughout the course of individual therapy, at certain key points in recovery, couple’s continue couple therapy as a check in until the individual work is complete and the couple transitions into full  relationship repair couple’s therapy
         
      2. Couples Group-This is a particular group, by invitation only, when the individuals in relationship have progressed to such a recovery point where they are each ready to change the primary focus from sobriety to relationship building and reclaiming healthy sexuality.  It is a 10 week intensive couples’ group with 4 -5 couples and includes significant work at home. Our foundational resource is the attachment material of Milan and Kay Yerchovick, How We Love Sex..Or Don’t.
         
    4. Male Addict Intensives -These four and a half day intensives combine the best empirically based sex addiction treatment protocol (Carnes Task Model), attachment repair (how we bond/love), and integrated spirituality. The participant will experience a grace-filled welcome, where the atmosphere is rich with acceptance, positive accountability, practical knowledge of sex addiction recovery and the beginning of learning how to connect and get attachment needs met in more effective healthy ways. These intensives also address transition from addictive sexuality to healthy sexuality and begin to create a climate for deeper more effective partner empathy. In addition to picking up practical skills for sex addiction recovery participants will also discover a new world of relationship building dynamics with self, significant others, and God. These intensives occur a number of times throughout the year. Check our Intensive Link for details.
       
    5. Partner Intensives-These three and a half day intensives combine the best empirically based trauma recovery/addiction treatment protocol (Carnes Model), attachment repair, boundaries building, and healthy self-care practices. Participants experience the safe, compassionate atmosphere facilitated by a therapist(s) trained through IITAP the certifying organization of the Carnes Model, a leader in the sex addiction / trauma recovery treatment industry. Check our Intensive Link for details.


CHRISTIAN SEX THERAPY

  1. Sexual Intimacy Issues: Sexual intimacy begins with one’s ability to be emotionally, spiritually, sensually, and sexually aware of self and equipped to address these areas in healthy self-affirming ways. Sometimes there are also communication gaps and discomfort in developing greater sexual intimacy. All these areas and more we address in a sensitive, direct, and Scripture truth informed manner.
     
  2. Sexual Dysfunction Issues: Sometimes couples bump up against difficulties functioning well in their sexual relationship. As can be seen from the first area above, having a mutually satisfying, enriching, and pleasurable sex life can be challenging to attain because of the complex nature of some of the problems. Is it desire, hormones, medications, aging, porn, emotional disconnection, former sexual abuse, rigid religious beliefs, family of origin issues, just to mention a few? These, we address in the same nonjudgmental accepting framework as we do with all of our clients.

 

SPIRITUAL FORMATION, DIRECTION AND HEALING

First and foremost Spiritual Formation is integrated into all we do, based upon each client’s preferences for this intervention. Some of our clients have a faith oriented background and desire spiritual solutions as an integral part of the therapy. Other clients are not particularly interested in spiritual solutions. We treat each and every client with respect to their wishes and goals in this matter.

Secondly, we also offer spiritual formation in three distinct formats. For our Christian oriented clients we offer individual therapy around spiritual formation. We also offer a Judeo-Christian based sex addiction recovery group called Grace Healing Journey which utilizes Shadows of the Cross, a Christian Companion to Facing the Shadows. Finally, we offer Spiritual Formation workshops on designated weekends throughout the year in various external locations.

 

INFORMATIONAL WORKSHOPS

Marital Issues, Sexual Intimacy Issues, Sexual Dysfunction Issues, Sex and Porn  Addiction

CONSULTATION, SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS, AND TRAINING FOR THE DEVELOPMENT OF SUPPORT GROUP